Face- to-face communication is on the decline. Not only are we spending less face-to-face time with our children, but they are equally spending less face-to-face time with their siblings and their friends as technology plays a bigger role in their lives.
A Stanford University study found that for every hour we spend on our computers, traditional face-to-face interaction with other people drops by nearly 30 minutes. Ouch!
With regard to childhood this has important implications because the evidence is suggesting that the brain’s neural circuitry controlling human contact is weakening. According to Gabi Small and Gigi Vorgan in their fascinating book iBrain: Surviving the Technological Alteration of the Modern Mind (2008, Harper Collins) when this happens, our social interactions may become awkward, and we tend to misinterpret, and even miss subtle, nonverbal messages. “Imagine how the continued slipping of social skills might affect an international summit meeting ten years from now, when a misread facial cue or a misunderstood gesture could make the difference between escalating military conflict or peace,” they say.
If this sounds scary, it should. From birth to age 12, when these neurological pathways are being laid down, it is our responsibility to balance hi-tech with as much high-touch and face-to-face interaction as possible. We need to make sure that our children get the best of both the real and virtual worlds, so that they can learn to read and understand the subtle nuances of human communication.
Make time for face-to-face connection by:
- Regularly eating meals around a table, be it the dining room table, the kitchen table or even a coffee table.
- Arranging play dates for your child.
- Playing games together as a family.
- Limiting your child’s exposure to screens and digital technology in favour or real human connection (moderation is the key) .
Preschoolers are so spontaneous and on the ball here as my four year old nephew reminded me when he came for a sleepover this weekend. On waking up the next morning he launched himself onto his 14 year old cousin’s bed, clambering onto his chest and crying out in a face wreathed with smiles, “Are you happy to see me?” Let’s face it, such a visual message of human love and adoration could never have been conveyed in quite the same way if not face-to-face!
NIKKI BUSH
Creative parenting expert, inspirational speaker and co-author of Future-proof Your Child (Penguin, 2008) and Easy Answers to Awkward Questions (Metz Press, 2009)
nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za
www.brightideasoutfit.com
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